Buying a Home Together as a Couple: What to Sort Out Before You Fall in Love With a House

Buying a home together as a couple

Buying a home together as a couple is one of the biggest financial partnerships two people ever enter — usually with a lot more romance and a lot less paperwork than the moment deserves. The house-hunting part is the fun part. The part that actually protects you both happens earlier, in conversations most couples skip: How do we budget as a team? Whose name goes on what? What happens to the house if life doesn't go the way we planned?

I have these conversations with couples all the time here in Richmond, and the couples who feel calm on settlement day are almost always the ones who talked through the money and the "what ifs" before they wrote an offer. Here's how to do that.

Budget for two incomes — and two credit profiles

When you buy together, the lender looks at both of you: two incomes, two debt loads, and two credit scores. That can be a real advantage — combined income often means more buying power. But it also means the lower of your two credit scores tends to drive your interest rate, and both of your debts (student loans, car payments, cards) count against what you can borrow.

A few things worth doing before you talk to a lender:

• Pull both credit reports early. If one partner's score has room to improve, a few months of focused cleanup can move your rate — and your monthly payment — noticeably.

• Decide how you'll split the down payment and monthly costs, and whether those shares are equal. This matters later for how you hold title (more on that below).

• Look at the whole monthly picture together: mortgage, taxes, insurance, HOA, utilities, and a cushion for repairs. A home you can both comfortably carry — even if one income dips — beats the biggest house you qualify for on paper.

One national data point worth knowing: LGBTQ+ buyers are far more likely to be buying for the first time (about 46%, compared with 29% of non-LGBTQ+ buyers, per the National Association of REALTORS®), and more likely to report that some step of the process felt genuinely difficult. If this is new territory, you're in very good company — and it's exactly the kind of thing a patient agent and lender walk you through.

How you hold title matters more than you think

This is the part couples most often overlook, and in Virginia it's genuinely important — especially if you're not married.

When two people buy a home in Virginia, there are a few ways the deed can be written, and they lead to very different outcomes:

• Tenancy in common. This is the default if the deed doesn't say otherwise. Each person owns a share, and if one partner passes away, their share goes to whoever their will (or state law) directs — not automatically to the surviving partner. For a couple, that can be a painful surprise.

• Joint tenancy with right of survivorship. Here, if one owner dies, the other automatically becomes the full owner, without probate. It has to be stated deliberately in the deed. Many unmarried couples choose this specifically so the survivor is protected.

• Tenancy by the entirety. This form adds automatic survivorship plus strong protection from creditors of just one spouse — but in Virginia it's available only to married couples.

That last point is the one to sit with. If you're a married couple, tenancy by the entirety may be worth asking about. If you're not married, that option isn't on the table — so choosing joint tenancy with right of survivorship (rather than defaulting into tenancy in common) is often how couples make sure the home stays with the person they intend. There's no single "right" answer; it depends on your finances, your family situations, and your plans. This is a conversation to have with a Virginia real estate attorney before settlement — not a box to check at the closing table.

Protect each other beyond the deed

The deed decides who owns the house. It doesn't cover everything else, and for couples — particularly unmarried couples, who don't get the automatic legal defaults marriage provides — a little planning goes a long way:

• Wills and beneficiary designations. The deed handles the house; a will and up-to-date beneficiary designations handle everything else and make your intentions clear.

• A cohabitation or property agreement. If you're contributing unequally, or one of you owned the down payment funds going in, writing down who put in what — and what happens if you split up or sell — protects both of you and takes the guesswork out of a hard moment.

• Powers of attorney. Medical and financial powers of attorney let your partner act for you in an emergency. Without them, an unmarried partner can find themselves shut out of decisions at the worst possible time.

None of this is romantic. All of it is love, written down. A good real estate attorney can point you to the right documents, and I'm always glad to make an introduction.

Think a step ahead: your future plans

A home is a long-term commitment, so it's worth buying with the next chapter in mind — not just today.

Talk through the practical stuff: Are kids or aging parents part of the picture? Does one of you travel or work from home? Is this a five-year house or a forever house? Your answers shape everything from the number of bedrooms to the neighborhood to how much cushion you want in the budget.

Marriage plans are part of this too. Same-sex marriage is legal nationwide, and here in Virginia there's a marriage-equality amendment on the November 2026 ballot that would remove the old, unenforceable ban still sitting in the state constitution and protect marriage in Virginia's own constitution going forward. Whether you're married, planning to be, or happily not, it's worth knowing where the law stands — because marital status changes some of the ownership and estate options above. If marriage is on your horizon, it's a fair question to raise with your attorney about timing and title.

Know your rights — and pick a team that has your back

Virginia protects you here. Since the Virginia Values Act took effect in 2020, sexual orientation and gender identity have been protected classes under Virginia's Fair Housing Law — in housing and in lending. That means you can't legally be turned away from a home or a mortgage because of who you are or who you love. Knowing that going in changes how it feels to walk into a showing or a loan office.

The other piece is choosing people who make the process easy: an agent, a lender, and a settlement attorney who treat you like any other buyers, because you are. (In Virginia, by the way, closing is called "settlement," and it's typically handled by a real estate attorney — there are no escrow companies here the way there are in some states.) I'll always explain how my compensation works up front and put it in writing, so there are no surprises about who pays for what.

The bottom line

Buying a home together is a partnership. The couples who do it well aren't the ones who found the perfect house first — they're the ones who got clear on the money, the deed, and the "what ifs" early, so the house could just be the happy part.

When You're Ready to Make Richmond Home

Looking for a Realtor who gets it? Whether you're buying, selling, or moving to Richmond, you deserve someone in your corner who sees you fully and advocates fiercely for you. That's what I do — every client's welcome at my table. Learn more on my LGBTQ+ friendly real estate page.

Steve Davis, REALTOR® · River Fox Realty · Richmond, VA · 804-787-0636

This article is general information, not legal, tax, or financial advice. Ownership structures, estate documents, and tax questions vary by situation — please consult a licensed Virginia real estate attorney and, where relevant, a tax professional before you decide.

🏠 Equal Housing Opportunity. Steve Davis and River Fox Realty do not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, familial status, disability, elderliness, source of income, or any other class protected by federal or Virginia fair housing law.